Friday, February 8, 2019

People In Control Do Not Get Angry

One of my favorite posts related to the concept of "Fuck you money" (which I'll refer to as FYM from here on) is A Story of a Fuck Off Fund. In short, the lack of FYM hinders your ability to fight for your values and, by extension, to control how you live your life.

I just wanted to use it to point out something else: People who are truly in control do not get angry

See, FYM tends to have some anger behind it. Someone toils away building up their savings until they have enough. Then they can yell those magical words at their pointy haired boss and walk out the door. Pent up anger from years of being "forced" to do work they didn't want to do.

But if you look closely, you'll notice that there's weakness there. That's frustration. That's lack of control.

Why? Because someone else caused you to have these negative feelings. Something external. People who are truly in control don't get frustrated or angry. Why? Because they have the power to do something about it.

If the company changes and you end up having an inept boss? No problem. You have the skills to manage up or the financial discipline to leave. You don't throw your arms up like a kid and cry about your situation. That's what control feels like.

In reality, noone has complete control but the more you hone your resourcefulness, problem solving, and skills to empower yourself, the less you will feel the need to be angry (or sad, depressed, etc.)

In the FYM story, if you do end up reaching your financial independence, consider exercising your control muscle and leave with dignity and grace.. for it was really you who did not have the skills to improve your situation. But hey, you can also give yourself a pat on the back for building up the discipline to empower yourself. Good job.